Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize