just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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