i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We had sex on a dog bed..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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