Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
