i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She needs sedatives and a leash
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize