I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
