Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
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