Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
