Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize