Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
