i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
