Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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