trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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