Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
