my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i love accidental penises.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
