It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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