Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize