Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
