After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
accomplished twins. life is a go
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
