I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She bit a glass in half.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
