This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
