Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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