I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
