so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize