there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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