Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
