i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
