Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize