She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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