SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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