would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
