i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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