How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
