i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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