we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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