i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
