I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
