we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
