let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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