Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
