happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
