ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
