I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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