you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
