we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
