I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
