jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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