eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I love having hate sex.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
