My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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