his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
