i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
