Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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