the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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