Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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