We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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