Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
