Me too!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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