They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
