I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
