Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
