He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
