Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
