It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
