Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i came on her dog
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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