Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
why is half of my head shaved?
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